my main question is has anyone ever fantasized about having sex with me


One day your child will bring home a friend and introduce them and they’ll have the name of a fictional character and you silently whisper “I can’t believe their parents were in ‘that’ fandom!”


srsly though why is fruit so expensive like I want some strawberries not the tears of jesus



If British people didn’t want non brits thinking they’re cute they shouldn’t use such cutesy words. Fairy lights? Ice lollies? KERFUFFLE? Your language overdosed on whimsy, mates.

lashings of ginger beer